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3 Ways to Argue Without Fighting

Having bouts of fighting with people around us, especially those we love, is all part of the program. Or so they say.

We all get angry. We all have a temper, given the right moment.

We are all guilty of blowing off steam and shouting, cursing people, and saying a lot of hurtful words when we’re mad. We’re not totally in control of ourselves when we’re emotional.

Which is precisely why we need to keep our emotions out of it when we’re trying to argue with someone.

While that may seem impossible, if you think about it, it makes sense. Arguing really consists more of logical thinking. It’s about laying down statements, hoping that both of you will come to an agreement.

So arguing without fighting can be achieved.

But how?

Let it settle

Don’t address issues right away, at least not at the heated moment. When someone does wrong by you, try not to scream at them right then and there. You would want to shout or do what it is to let them know they pissed you off or hurt you.

But all that’s going to do is to make you mad. It’s not going to solve anything. You will just let out steam and probably add fuel to the fire.

Give yourself time to cool down first. Distance yourself from them if possible. An hour should do the trick, and then approach them with a calm demeanor, and possibly a solution to the problem.

Think first

Arguing is like playing chess. You need to be at least 2-3 steps ahead in order to stay on top. Even if you don’t mean to argue with someone, if you have seemingly opposing views that has caused pain in one of you, then you will have an argument.

So before you approach them with your points and beliefs, you need to really lay them out in your head first. Think about possible reactions for each of your statements and come up with a rough sketch of how you would play each one out.

This way, you also avoid further upsetting either one of you. You become more considerate of the relationship and the person more than succumbing to your issues.

Listen

There really are two sides to any story. No matter how mad you are at the other party, don’t be rude and immature as to not listen to what they have to say.

Even if you are the aggrieved one, that doesn’t mean they don’t have a right to say what they feel about it or why something happened the way it did.

Also, you can’t just assume you know their side. You shouldn’t assume you already know what they have to say.

Sometimes you’re wrong, and if that relationship really matters to you, you don’t want to take the chance that you are and see it crumble because of it.

It takes two to communicate well, and you can’t argue with just one person doing all the talking. If you want to be heard, to be respected, you need to show the same courtesy.

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Kind regards,

Heather

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